I never wanted to have a nervous breakdown. I never wanted to stand in my kitchen with a butcher's knife in my hand struggling to find a reason to keep going. I never wanted to be abused. I never wanted to be bullied. I never wanted to become a drug addict or a drunk. I never wanted to be a manipulative, conniving jerk. There had been many, many things I wish would've never happened ... but they did. I could choose to remain angry. I could choose to remain nasty. I could choose to be bitter and resentful. I could choose to go on a spree of violent behavior. But why? What would that prove? That would only prove that I had become just like the people who hurt me! I would have no right to complain about anything that's been done to me because I would be doing those things to others.
Once we fully understand that God desires that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance and that He will never leave us or forsake us and that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes, our lives will be transformed because our minds are being renewed.
So many things had gone wrong in my life and I made a lot of mistakes and bad decisions based on selfish desires -- and others have done the same. I could sit here and complain and complain and complain some more, but where would that get me? Constant complaining leads us away from God and into debauchery. God has called me to leave that life of sin and self-destruction. We Christians must show God the appreciation He deserves for our spiritual redemption, if not for the continuous process of the sanctification of our souls.
Do you need a miracle?
At the end of a day of teaching on the side of a hill in a "lonely place," the masses of people were hungry. The disciples approached Jesus and asked Him to send them away so they could get some food. When Jesus asked them to feed the people, they were indignant, but someone made the request and a boy sacrificed (so he might have thought) to provide five loaves and two fish. That was a great act of generosity. His giving prompted God to give in relation to the Law of the Harvest. We tend to think of this miracle in very sensible ways, but let's explore just when the miracle happened.
Jesus gave thanks to Father God for the small portion of food and His gratitude brought the men, women, and children an incredible blessing.
“And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would.”
He simply gave thanks. He showed gratitude. Jesus is our example. This miracle is included in all four Gospel accounts. Jesus didn't have to do a song-and-dance routine, He didn't have to beg His Father for the miracle. He didn't have to go change into white clothes and wear a special hat. He didn't even have to go to a seminar to discover the twelve-step way of making bread multiply with no money down. He simply gave thanks. He possessed an attitude of gratitude.
Jesus did this whenever they ate. If Jesus thought it was important to give credit where credit is due, we all should. Let's quantum leap to Jesus' final Passover Seder, aka The Last Supper.
“While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.”
Jesus is seated with His disciples and He reveals the final piece of matzo, raises it up, thanks His Father for it* -- and the awesome moment of revelation -- breaking it for them all to share. Jesus hands Judas a piece of the bread and Judas leaves to betray Jesus right after eating this share of the blessed bread. The 11 remaining disciples are consumed by this Blessed God-Man and hanging onto every word He says. Everybody wants to be blessed, but not everybody wants what God's handing out. Gratitude starts in the heart of a humble servant.
Will you choose to complain or will you vocally thank God for what you have so He can move miraculously in and through you? Have an attitude of gratitude and you will be absolutely amazed at what God will do in and through you!
Prayer
Father God, I repent of trying to gain glory for myself through the living for the adulation from others. I have depended on their praise and attention instead of Yours. Please forgive me for withholding my love and attention from You through the years because I thought You hated me and because "I thought You were a hard man, reaping where You had not sown." Help me see how all mankind has sinned and fallen short of Your glory so I no longer seek affirmation from them. Reveal those things that have kept me in bondage to the lies of the enemy. I seek Your face and thank You whole-heartedly for all You have done for me! I thank You that I am still alive when I have wanted to give up. Thank You for never leaving or forsaking me. Thank You for providing for me, even if it was just five loaves and two fish. Help me see the truth of my life. Help me realize just how great thou art. Teach me to praise You so I am more confident in doing so. I want nothing to hold me back from the life You have called me to live. Grant me an attitude of gratitude, my Lord. In Jesus' perfect and holy name, amen!
* Jesus would likely have said the traditional prayer, "Blessed are you, LORD our God, king of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth."
A special thanks to fivefoldministryireland for the use of this great picture of Jesus and to Leonardo Da Vinci for the great painting of the Last Supper.